Gracie's Nemesis

My dog, Gracie, has a nemesis. This adversary torments her most days and sometimes even at night. It mocks her. It taunts her. It tempts her. And it always stays just a step ahead of her. I must tell you, Gracie is resilient in her pursuit of this enemy, but though they have fought many battles, the war continues to rage, and as my family observes day after day from our windows, the conflict shows no sign of ceasing.
Perhaps the most frustrating thing for Gracie is not that she has not overcome her enemy, so much as it seems like she should. After all, her adversary is not much to look at, and though Gracie is a bit on the portly side (she sometimes eats her sister's dinner when no one is watching), her quickness and strength seems to factor a victory for her against such a small opponent. Nevertheless, time after time her nemesis eludes capture.
Gracie's nemesis is a four and 1/2 pound brown squirrel that makes its home among the trees of ours and the neighbors' yards. With that holier-than-thou flick of its bushy tail, and that obnoxious scrunching of its nose, you just know the little thing is basking in its superiority to all the neighborhood dogs. It is no wonder Gracie wants this squirrel brought to the jaws of justice like an Old West Sheriff seeking to vanquish an unwanted outlaw who has taken up residence in town.
And it is not that Gracie doesn't try - that she doesn't do even more than a normal dog would do to exterminate this vermin. She has even figured out how to climb some of the trees in our yard, in an effort to communicate to the squirrel that it can run, but it cannot hide.


Gracie vs. the Squirrel

However, even being able to climb trees is not enough to rid the world of this enemy. Day after day she barks up at the tree where the squirrel waits for her to tire so it can make a break for it. Day after day she staggers through the pet door, tongue dragging on the linoleum, desperate for water and a way to forget the humiliation of another defeat. And so the squirrel taunts her. So it tempts her. And so her life is constantly placed on edge by the known presence of this nemesis.

Oh, I'm sure this may come across as a rather cheap comparison, but is this not so with our own lives, as we wage an endless war against the sin that cheapens us, fatigues us, sends us slumping back home, head down in defeat, at the end of each day? There are days when the battle we know we will face before day's end just seems too much. Yet we fight it anyway. We fight it and lose. And again we are taunted, tempted, and mocked.
We are unable to win this war. I know this - have understood this for a long time. We do not have the ability to rid ourselves of sin, no matter how many strategies or formulas for success we try to adopt. Capture, control, and disposal of our sin seems so closely within our grasp, we continually delude ourselves we have what it takes. We bark louder, we go longer without replenishing our thirst, we figure out how to climb trees ... perhaps this time we have done enough to secure a victory. The victory.

I think the reason why we do not have it within us to rid ourselves of this enemy is because ... the enemy is us. This is where the Gracie vs. the Squirrel metaphor breaks down. We are our own worst enemy. The problem in the Church today is we have found a way to divide the blame for our sins, projecting the guilt onto others. If I falter in some way, it wasn't all my fault. I merely bought into the lie somebody or something communicated to me. Yes, I was wrong, but so are they. Perhaps the worst lie the Church has bought into is the concept that "the devil made me do it." We personify our temptation to act and speak wrongly by attributing that temptation to the devil. Satan. While this holds some connection to New Testament scripture, it is a grave mistake to simply point to Satan as the originator of our rebellious act. It gives us an excusal, an out-plan when considering the level of our guilt. Sure, I confess I was wrong - but Satan tricked me. No, it begins and ends with us. We have to take responsibility for our actions.
I believe this is why so many young people (and possibly older people; I am not sure - I'm not "older" yet) constantly find themselves questioning their salvation. "Rededicating" their lives. One, we do not trust the all-encompassing grace and mercy of God. When we accept the forgiveness he offers, we are wholly forgiven - forever. Find a scripture in the Bible that proves this concept wrong. Two, we return to try the "prayer for salvation" again, because we have not accepted the complete rebelliousness of our character. We believe that if we bind ourselves up in more and more rules, another lifestyleformula, to protect from any waywardness where Satan or someone else might tempt us and cause us to sin, we will get it right this time. In reality, we get it right when we accept the fact that we are our own enemy, plain and simple. The wondrous salvation that Christ offers is not a rescue from Satan. It is a renovation of self. Christ saves us from our own sinfulness - by his mercy and grace we can become, in essence, a new person.
Still human, still understanding our tendency and appetite for sin ... but now aware that the fullness of Christ pours into the total emptiness of ourselves.

It boggles the mind, this forgiveness. There is no other word for it but "wonder." In the book of Romans, it is written, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (11:33)

May I recognize my capacity for sin. May I also see my capability to wonder.